Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: (I Corinthians 7:1)
When Paul started this letter to the church in Corinth, he didn't state until now that this letter was in response to a letter they sent him. They initially asked him all these different questions that God lead him to respond to. Yes, they were ...the church of God which is at Corinth, to those who are sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints, with all who in every place call on the name of Jesus Christ our Lord,... (I Corinthians 1:2) But they had sense enough to know that they didn't know everything. They needed help and they were wise enough to ask a leader in the church for answers. The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. (Proverbs 18:15)
In the previous lessons, Paul addressed sexual immorality of all kinds. Regarding all the different examples he gave, he concluded that ...such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. (I Corinthians 6:11-12) In other words, when we know better, we are to do better. We can't accept the free gift of salvation through faith in Christ Jesus, and then continue doing wrong because we know if we ask, God will forgive us. What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? (Romans 6:1-2)
Now that Paul had addressed the sexual immorality issues, he addresses the appropriate behavior between the sexes, whether married or unmarried. It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (I Corinthians 7:2-5)
This is pretty straight forward. A husband and wife are no longer to operate as they did when they were single. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:8) They are to sacrifice their personal desires to please each other, but not all the time. If they agree that for a specific period of time they will "fast" from intercourse to commit themselves to fasting and prayer, that's fine. But they must agree after that specific period of time is over, they are to come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Tempt them to do what? To fall back into sexual immorality. We must not forget, Paul is writing to the church of God which is in Corinth, but the church is in a very immoral society and temptation is everywhere. The sexual relationship between the husband and wife should be very fulfilling and satisfying so that they aren't tempted to seek satisfaction outside of the relationship. That is how God designed marriage; and the two shall become one flesh!
But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (I Corinthians 7:6-9) I'm sure most of us have never thought of being single as a gift from God, but it is. We will study in the next part of this lesson where Paul states, But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. (I Corinthians 7:32-33) Single Christians don't have to worry about the distraction of serving God while having to please or submit to a spouse. BUT, if our sexual desires are too strong that they tempt us to practice sexual immorality of any kind, then we should pray and ask God to bless us with our own husband or wife.
With all that being said, if we are those who don't have the gift of being able to stay single, what kind of marriage should we have? Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. (I Corinthians 7:10-14)
Marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman "until death do us part"! Remember, Jesus made this very clear when the Jewish religious leaders questioned him. The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:2-6) Marriage is more than just exchanging of vows; it is a covenant between a man and a woman with God. (Proverbs 2:17) There are so many scriptures we could quote, but based on the context of this letter, Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. (Hebrews 13:4 ESV)
Marriage is supposed to be forever, but if one of the two refuses to live as though the two become on flesh, then what's the other option. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? (I Corinthians 7:15-16) If we are married, we are to do all we can to stay married, render the affection due to each other, submit the authority of our bodies to each other; but if the unbeliever departs, let him depart! There is no fear in love; (I John 4:18) Even if we don't have fear of our physical condition, we have to be mindful of our mental condition, because God has called us to peace. If the unbeliever departs, let him depart; but while they're gone, pray for them that ...your sorrow led to repentance. ... For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. (II Corinthians 7:9-10)
Unfortunately, divorce among Christians is almost as high as among non-Christians. Paul has given us clear instructions on how to try and avoid becoming one of the statistics. But the first step in avoiding divorce, if we don't have the gift of staying sexually moral while being single, is to make sure we marry a Christian. Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? ... Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? (II Corinthians 6:14-15) A minister once said, "If a person is a certain way before you're married, they'll be worse after." Maya Angelou said, "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them." In order to get to know them, we have to spend time getting to know them and their family and their friends and their environment. Don't rush into marriage and God willing, "What God has joined together, let not man separate.”
When Paul started this letter to the church in Corinth, he didn't state until now that this letter was in response to a letter they sent him. They initially asked him all these different questions that God lead him to respond to. Yes, they were ...the church of God which is at Corinth, to those who are sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints, with all who in every place call on the name of Jesus Christ our Lord,... (I Corinthians 1:2) But they had sense enough to know that they didn't know everything. They needed help and they were wise enough to ask a leader in the church for answers. The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. (Proverbs 18:15)
In the previous lessons, Paul addressed sexual immorality of all kinds. Regarding all the different examples he gave, he concluded that ...such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. (I Corinthians 6:11-12) In other words, when we know better, we are to do better. We can't accept the free gift of salvation through faith in Christ Jesus, and then continue doing wrong because we know if we ask, God will forgive us. What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? (Romans 6:1-2)
Now that Paul had addressed the sexual immorality issues, he addresses the appropriate behavior between the sexes, whether married or unmarried. It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (I Corinthians 7:2-5)
This is pretty straight forward. A husband and wife are no longer to operate as they did when they were single. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:8) They are to sacrifice their personal desires to please each other, but not all the time. If they agree that for a specific period of time they will "fast" from intercourse to commit themselves to fasting and prayer, that's fine. But they must agree after that specific period of time is over, they are to come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Tempt them to do what? To fall back into sexual immorality. We must not forget, Paul is writing to the church of God which is in Corinth, but the church is in a very immoral society and temptation is everywhere. The sexual relationship between the husband and wife should be very fulfilling and satisfying so that they aren't tempted to seek satisfaction outside of the relationship. That is how God designed marriage; and the two shall become one flesh!
But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (I Corinthians 7:6-9) I'm sure most of us have never thought of being single as a gift from God, but it is. We will study in the next part of this lesson where Paul states, But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. (I Corinthians 7:32-33) Single Christians don't have to worry about the distraction of serving God while having to please or submit to a spouse. BUT, if our sexual desires are too strong that they tempt us to practice sexual immorality of any kind, then we should pray and ask God to bless us with our own husband or wife.
With all that being said, if we are those who don't have the gift of being able to stay single, what kind of marriage should we have? Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. (I Corinthians 7:10-14)
Marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman "until death do us part"! Remember, Jesus made this very clear when the Jewish religious leaders questioned him. The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:2-6) Marriage is more than just exchanging of vows; it is a covenant between a man and a woman with God. (Proverbs 2:17) There are so many scriptures we could quote, but based on the context of this letter, Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. (Hebrews 13:4 ESV)
Marriage is supposed to be forever, but if one of the two refuses to live as though the two become on flesh, then what's the other option. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? (I Corinthians 7:15-16) If we are married, we are to do all we can to stay married, render the affection due to each other, submit the authority of our bodies to each other; but if the unbeliever departs, let him depart! There is no fear in love; (I John 4:18) Even if we don't have fear of our physical condition, we have to be mindful of our mental condition, because God has called us to peace. If the unbeliever departs, let him depart; but while they're gone, pray for them that ...your sorrow led to repentance. ... For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. (II Corinthians 7:9-10)
Unfortunately, divorce among Christians is almost as high as among non-Christians. Paul has given us clear instructions on how to try and avoid becoming one of the statistics. But the first step in avoiding divorce, if we don't have the gift of staying sexually moral while being single, is to make sure we marry a Christian. Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? ... Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? (II Corinthians 6:14-15) A minister once said, "If a person is a certain way before you're married, they'll be worse after." Maya Angelou said, "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them." In order to get to know them, we have to spend time getting to know them and their family and their friends and their environment. Don't rush into marriage and God willing, "What God has joined together, let not man separate.”
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