I am so glad that you always keep me in your thoughts, and that you are following the teachings I passed on to you. But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.(I Corinthians 11:2-3 NLT)
This particular subject causes a lot of controversy among believers, and also causes a lot of unbelievers not to want to accept Christianity. Why? Because this subject deals with order, authority and accountability. Order is the arrangement or disposition of people or things in relation to each other according to a particular sequence, pattern, or method. Authority is the power or right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience. Accountability is the fact or condition of being responsible; liable to being called to account; answerable.
We have to go back to the beginning to put this in perspective. In the beginning God created... (Genesis 1:1) God is the "head"! “God, who made the world and everything in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth,... for in Him we live and move and have our being,... ‘For we are also His offspring.’ " (Acts 17:24, 28) Next, Then God said, “Let Us... (Genesis 1:26) "Us" refers to God and His Son, Lord God, the Christ! This is the history of the heavens and the earth when they were created, in the day that the Lord God made the earth and the heavens,... (Genesis 2:4) God "created" the blueprint, and Lord God the Son "made" everything as God the Father desired, therefore God is the "head" of Christ! "The Father loves the Son, and has given all things into His hand." (John 3:35)
Of all the things that God the Father created and Lord God the Son made, man and woman were the only things God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness;... So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." (Genesis 1:26-27) And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being. (Genesis 2:7)
Man was formed first, so the "head" of man is Lord God, Christ! Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” (Genesis 2:18, 21-23) Woman was made from man, so the "head" of the woman is man!
This system of order is throughout creation, businesses, governments and it should be followed in every Christian home and church. "Head" deals with order, authority and accountability. In business, there's usually a president, vice president, manager, staff workers. In government, there's usually a president, vice president, representatives, constituents. In the Christian home, there's usually a father, mother, children, maybe pets (Genesis 1:26-31) Well, in the church, there's usually a pastor, teachers, saints, which refers to all of us who are saved, whether male or female.
Why the distinction between men and women, if God created women to be a helper comparable to man? The key is, as the KJV states, women were created as a "help meet". Women were not created to be dominated or subservient, for God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion..." (Genesis 1:28) Both were given the same responsibilities, but each had separate duties. In God's "order", Adam had "authority", because the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” (Genesis 2:15-17) But after Eve believed the lies of the devil, and then convinced Adam to do the same, Adam was held "accountable", because the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” ... Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?” (Genesis 3:9, 11)
Regardless of what happens in a relationship, God holds the man accountable. You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying; so He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”(Malachi 2:13-16)
That's why God says, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. (Ephesians 5:25-27) Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. (Colossians 3:19) ...dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. (I Peter 3:7)
No woman should have a problem with the man being the "head" in their relationship, if he is a man that will love his wife, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. That's why women should be very careful who we choose to marry. As Paul stated in a previous lesson, But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. ...how she may please her husband. (I Corinthians 7:32:34) If we are unmarried, Christ is the "head" of us.
It is good for a man not to touch a woman [or a woman a man]. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. (I Corinthians 7:1-2) If we get married, make sure Christ is the "head" of the man, because now the man is the "head" between the woman and Christ. In God's system of "order", He has given man that "authority" and "accountability". The woman now becomes the "help meet" to the man. A "help meet" is not weak, but a weaker vessel, meaning she doesn't control the ship, but she does help to guide it, similar to a tugboat that tows or pushes a large barge.
Women are not to be "virtual" wives, fake and without feelings or opinions or input; but we are to be "virtuous" wives. Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. ... (Proverbs 31:10-31)